Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize