Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
