Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
