Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
