I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i drank out of a bidet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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