I don't think brook has ever known best
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
