Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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