Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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