Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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