I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
