did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
