Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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