I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
