Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
