Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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