1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize