I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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