"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
