the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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