i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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