Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize