Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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