just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize