I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
