Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
