Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize