I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
