Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
