Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize