I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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