I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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