Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
