1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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