im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
