so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
there is another microwave in the elevator.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
