Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
