The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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