she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
