sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
