physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
