try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
