I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
