It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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