Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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