video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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