Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
