please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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