I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
