The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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