You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize