i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
