ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
