You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
