Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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