I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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