I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
