it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize