Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
