The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
