he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
