So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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