This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
